One of the most difficult things for many couples to get back after cheating is any semblance of a sex life. Cheating is not only an emotional betrayal but a physical one as well. It's going to take the other person a little time to come to terms, accept, and let it go. That should be completely understandable. How ready would you be to jump back into the marital bed if the tables were turned?
Here are a few things you can do that might speed up the process a little bit for you.
1) Don't apply heavy pressure. This will have the exact impact from what you are going for. Pressure will only push your partner away rather than drawing your lover in. Pressure also makes things awkward. Remember back in high school when every move seem calculated to get the desired result? That isn't the way to go right now. What you want to do is make it seem like nature is taking its course and that it's time to move forward and not that your partner is obligated to move forward so you won't cheat again or something along those lines.
2) Discuss it openly in a no-pressure manner. This will make a bigger difference than most people realize. Talk about what's causing the hang up and maybe you can work it out or fix it. It could be that you're still putting off some "hands off" vibes of your own. No one will know there is a problem until you start talking about it much less what the problem is.
3) Make it fun. Some couples take sex so seriously. Over time it becomes a boring chore that needs to be taken care of instead of something fun and frivolous that you both enjoy. When did that happen? Right? It happens in the best of relationships. Coming back and rebuilding after an affair is a serious downer to the fun factor so you're going to have to work a little harder than normal to make things lighthearted for your next trip back to the bedroom.
4) Give your partner a few mind-blowing mental orgasms to get him or her in the mood. Sex isn't only physical. It's largely mental. If you want to make some serious inroads to taking down the "no sex" barrier on your marriage after cheating you're going to have to get past a few mental roadblocks. Whisper a sex story to your partner, write a racy love letter, or start making up your own sexy limericks. The trick is to have your spouse chasing you down for sex by the time it's all over with.
Sex is important in a marriage but it's not all physical. Small things like those above can
get your ex back in your bed fast but it won't last long unless you follow this one super secret bit of advice first:
http://www.magicofmakingup.com.
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