Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder After a Breakup?

Published: 18th May 2011
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I hear it all the time. People tell me not to give up hope now that my girlfriend has left. They tell me that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and countless other small platitudes that do little to make me FEEL better. But, is there any truth to the saying? Should I even dare to hope that she could change her mind because she starts to miss me when I'm gone? Could it happen?

Now is the perfect time to start believing in that old saying. It's so very true. Think about the things you've had in life and taken for granted. It was only after they were broken, gone, or out of sight that you began to realize just how fond you were of those things. It can be an even more profound experience when it comes to people. People matter to us in a way that things never could. When you've shared as much of yourself with someone as you have your girlfriend and she has with you it only makes sense that there is a feeling of sadness that sets in after some time apart.

After a while she may be able to remember how much you meant to her and how much she did really love you and having you in her life. As those memories float to the surface some of the memories of minor irritations and problems in the relationships will not seem as sharp or clearly in focus. It's great how that works over time.

The key of course is in allowing the proper amount of time pass so that she does have those moments of fond remembrance and to ensure that the fond memories overshadow the not-so-fond variety. At least, that's the key if you're hoping that she'll fall in love with you all over again (or remember just how much she still loves you) so you can get your ex back and save your relationship.

Going "no contact" is an excellent way for you to hit her with your absence all at once and make it a profound absence in her life indeed. Don't call, text, email, drive by, drop by, FaceBook, Tweet, or leave a voicemail on her answering machine. If you want to really get her attention and make her experience your absence, this is the best way by far to make that happen. When you stop being a presence for her to turn to, it's surprising how fast she begins to miss your presence in her life.

That's just one effective strategy that can help you turn her heart in your direction so you can get your ex back. But don't even think about trying to make it work for you until you know the secret second move: you need to make to get most out of this first step.

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