How do I get My Husband to Forgive me for the Things I Said After He Cheated?

Published: 01st September 2010
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"Finding out that my husband was cheating sent me way over the edge and I said some things I really regret now that I've calmed down. How do I get my husband to forgive me for the things I said after I found out he cheated on me?"

People often say things they don't mean when they are hurt and angry. Finding out your husband has been cheating on you is one of the few times in life when it is completely understandable that you would say things you don't mean.

That doesn't change the fact that once words are said, they can never be taken back. But you can still save your marriage.

The fact that you can't unring bells or unsay words doesn't mean that he'll never forgive you. He probably understands that cheating is one of those acts that many people feel is unforgivable and may even be in a pretty forgiving mood himself as a result.

Here are a few good ideas for getting his forgiveness though if you really want to make nice and work hard to save your marriage.

1) Ask him for it. He probably understands, better than you believe he does at this point, how much a good marriage is worth. He doesn't want things to end no matter how many hurtful things you've said and done to one another. Ask him for his forgiveness and his response just might surprise you in a very good way.

2) Put your apology in writing. This does two things. First, it forces you to really sit down and think about what you're going to say and how it will sound to him. Second, it allows you to say what's on your heart in an environment that isn't ruled by emotion. When you talk face to face, emotions can complicate things and everything can get heated way too fast. Putting it in writing gives you distance from the emotional overload of a potential confrontation and helps you find the right words to avoid a confrontation.

3) Don't justify. Just apologize. You don't need to make excuses for the things you said and the last thing you want to do right now is start a new argument over who really is at fault. Make your apology your apology and leave it at that. He will either accept it or not. If he does, you can move forward. If he doesn't you can go back to the drawing board.

Going back to the drawing board isn't always a bad thing when you are trying to get your ex back and/or save your marriage.

Sometimes it's good to take a little time to recoup and formulate a new plan of action. Before you do anything else to try and win him back though you need to make time to watch this free video: This could be just the secret maneuver you need to get your marriage back on track.

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