How to Establish Boundaries with a Cheating Husband

Published: 08th February 2011
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A cheating husband can be difficult to deal with in the best of circumstances. Most women however find that anything to do with cheating and their husbands is usually not the best of circumstances. As much as you want to forgive your husband and try to work on saving your marriage, it's also important that your learn to establish boundaries with a cheating husband so that you don't find yourself in this exact same situation in a far too short amount of time.

Not all men who cheat once are likely to cheat again. That doesn't mean that your marriage is out of danger though simply because your husband has already cheated. Some people consider it scratching the seven year itch and something that should be expected. The thing is though that this is not something that you must tolerate in order to have a solid marriage. In fact, if you aren't comfortable accepting it, there is no rule, written or otherwise, that says you must stand for it.

Sometimes in marriage you really need to draw a line in the sand that tells your husband that this is the last straw and there will be no others along these lines. Boundaries are good in all relationships even marriages. But they are especially useful in marriages as you work to move past the damage that a cheating husband can do to the relationship.

Do you want to save your marriage? Do you have a difficult time asserting yourself? Then it is more important for you than for most women in your situation that you learn to establish boundaries with a cheating husband so he doesn't cheat again or walk all over you after he's cheated.

How do you set a boundary?

This isn't putting up a physical wall and it's not a list of demands like a band robber would use. This is just you telling your husband that you love him very much and are interested in working to save your marriage. However, you must also inform him that there are certain conditions that must be met in order to save your marriage. This isn't an ultimatum and shouldn't be delivered as such. It should be given as a simple "position" statement.

He can't continue to cheat on you if he hopes to save your marriage. It's a line in the sand that must be drawn for the sakes of everyone involved. The hard part though is that this is one line you must stand behind. If he crosses it, you must be willing to walk away or it will be open season on your marriage time and time again.

It isn't easy to stand up and draw a line in the sand for your marriage but it is much easier to do that now than to try to get your ex back later after even more damage has been done.

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