Mending Your Marriage After Cheating – Soothing Words That Heal

There is a secret to success when it comes to mending your marriage after cheating. That secret is to learn soothing words of comfort for your spouse that will bring about the real, lasting healing that is needed in your marriage.

Cheating and infidelity are not generally the problem in marriages. They are simply one of the many symptoms that all is not well in paradise. For the most part, people who love their spouses will only cheat if they believe there is no chance at all of getting caught or if they are getting something they desperately need by the other person involved in the affair.

The first option generally results in a one night stand rather than an illicit long-term affair. Some people do it just to see what it's like or to remember what it was like to be single. This is often one of the few types of affairs that is more a matter of differences in beliefs over what is and isn't cheating (many men believe that a one-night stand is not really cheating despite the fact that the women in their lives believe differently). But it is cheating and it can destroy a marriage if caught.

The long-term affairs are generally more dangerous. There is a greater risk of getting caught as the affair itself and the depth of emotions involves grows deeper. The fact that there are emotions involved in this type of affair poses a different type of problem for marriages and reconciliation. A choice will eventually have to be made between the marriage and the "other person" involved in the affair.

For the sake of argument, let's say that you've decided to work things out with your spouse. Now you're going to need to find a new language to speak that is filled with words that bring healing, comfort, and a new kind of tenderness to your marriage. These words are a good beginning if you're truly interested in mending your marriage after cheating.

1) I'm sorry. It's not the end all be all of apologies but it's a good start and it lets your spouse know where you stand. Be sincere and be specific when you apologize. Let your spouse know you never meant to cause him or her pain. Let your love for your spouse show in your words and express your regret that your actions are what brought pain to your spouse.

2) I love you. Without this phrase a future is hard to envision between the two of you. Love is what makes marriages great. Your love may have shifted from the passionate and fiery love you first shared into something more comfortable and less volatile but that doesn’t mean it has to burn any less bright.

3) You're still the one! That's right. You need to let your spouse know that he or she still does it for you. Your spouse is going to be going through a great deal of doubt after you've had an affair. It's a huge blow to ego and to the self esteem of your spouse. You're going to have to make your spouse understand that he or she still lights your fire.

Mending your marriage after cheating is infinitely better when you choose healing words rather than words that are going to be divisive. These three small phrases are an excellent beginning.

Even if you've gone through a separation or divorce you can still get your ex back and make things better within your marriage.

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