My Ex-Girlfriend Wants to be Friends Is that Even Possible?

Published: 12th April 2011
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Things were looking up in my life. I dated a girl that I thought hung the moon and stars. It lasted about two years and then she decided it would be best if we go our separate ways. The problem is that my ex-girlfriend wants to be friends. It isn't bad enough that she's just ripped out my heart. Now she wants me to pretend that the last two years never happened. I want her to be in my life but I'm not sure I can just be her friend after having been so much more. Is it even possible for people to do that?

While it may not be the ideal solution or what you want there are couples who do manage to remain friends after the relationship has ended. That doesn't mean it's the right choice for you after your breakup. People have different types of relationships.

Most couples are friends before they are anything else. You can't share a huge part of your life with someone you're not even really friends with. But that doesn't mean you should remain friends after that person has broken your heart.

In fact, that's the last thing you want right now, isn't it? You don't want to be friends. You want things to stay the way they were. You don't want to be feeling this intense level of pain. You want to wake up to discover that it was all a dream a very bad dream.

The good news for you is that you don't have to pick a side right away. Ask for a little time to come to terms with the way things are before you move on to the next level of friendship with your girlfriend. Give yourself time to recover from thoughts of how to get your ex back before you try to worry about how to be her best buddy instead.

Turning Back the Tides

You can't turn on and off your emotions. It would be convenient at times if you could. For the most part you're stuck with the feelings you have and they must be dealt with. If you try to be her friends before you've resolved or sorted out how you feel about the fact that you've broken up it could prove disastrous for both of you.

Don't be afraid to say "no" if you don't think this is the right choice for you. It's time for you to stand up for yourself and do the right thing for your needs and not for her needs.

But you could decide that you're not willing to settle for less than what you were before and you'd like to be so much more. In this case, going back to being friends will be impossible. You'll need to look for something better like finding out how to get your girlfriend back and save your relationship instead.


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