My Girlfriend Is Way Too Clingy How Do I Get Her To Back Off?

Published: 20th April 2011
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My Girlfriend Is Way Too Clingy How Do I Get Her To Back Off?

I'm really torn. I love my girlfriend. But, she's so clingy these days that I'm really thinking about breaking up with her. I don't have a moment to myself. She's always calling, coming over, and basically smothering me with her presence. I don't want things to end. I just want a little space. How do I get her to back off and give me some breathing room?

Oddly enough this is a situation that is fairly common. She isn't attempting to smother you. She simply enjoys your company. But there are some things you can do that will let her know that really can be too much of a good thing and that she needs to back off without hurting her feelings or damaging your relationship. For the sake of your relationship, if you are already entertaining thoughts of breaking up over her constant attention, you need to make sure she gets the message as soon as possible.

But you need to tell her in a way that offers it as a constructive suggestion rather than a criticism if you want to keep things happy and upbeat in your relationship. Believe it or not, most fights between couples are a result of how something was said rather than what was actually said. You need to learn to ask for what you need in a way that will get through to her without making her feel as though you're accusing her of something.

Perhaps you should invite her to take one night a week to do things with her girlfriends. This will give you both a break from each other. But, more importantly, doesn't come across as a criticism at all. This might be the one thing that will save you from looking for ways to get your ex back like so many who aren't as diplomatic in how they word their requests.

If that doesn't work or doesn't get you what you're looking for you're going to have to break down and talk to her about it. It's a good idea to master this skill early on in the relationship. There are going to be many times when you have to sit down and talk through your problems together.

Always remember to be as positive in how you say things as possible so that it doesn't sound like criticism. But it's much better to learn to ask for what you need in the relationship now than to let resentment grow over time because you're not getting it even though you never asked for it. This (asking for what you need and listening when she asks you for what she needs) is the one tool that will save your relationship time and time again if you learn to master it now.

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