Should I Let My Ex Know How Angry I Am?

Anger is a normal part of the process of grieving after a relationship has ended. Some people go straight there while others go through a few other steps along the way. The severity and duration of your anger will vary from one relationship to the next and one person to another. There are no hard and fast rules for dealing with anger in the aftermath of a painful breakup other than this: proceed with caution.

Right now, you're hurting and you're angry. That's a dangerous combination in the world of the modern relationship. It's easy to say and do things at a time like this that you would never say or do at any other time. These words and deeds can never be undone.

You're wondering: "Should I let my ex know how angry I am?" That's completely up to you but it's better if you do it in a dispassionate manner than going into the situation in full blown emotional overload.

But you still need to work through the anger and get it out of your system. If you can't confront your ex with the full force of your feelings at the moment, what can you do?

Here's a great way to deal with your anger.

Write it down. Put it all on a sheet of paper. Use pen and write it out. Scratch through words you can't get right. Underline important points. You can even bring out your highlighter pen and make some of the things you're feeling really stand out. You want to get it all out on this piece of paper.

Then when it's all written down and you can't think of anything else to say you need to burn that piece of paper. Burn it. Watch it burn until there is nothing left but ash. Make sure it will never be seen or read by another living soul.

You don't want your ex to know the true extent of your feelings (hurt or anger) but you need to find release. Watching the words that describe your emotions go up in flames is a type of release in and of itself. Putting those feelings on paper was the first form of release. You were releasing the words from your mind and heart onto the paper.

At this point in time you should feel a little better, at the very least more in control of your emotional situation.

Does she NEED to know that she's hurt you? The odds are good that if you had a good and loving relationship she knows that you're hurting. She also knows that she's responsible for causing that pain.

Right now she's dealing with her own pain, disappointment, and guilt. She actually does feel guilty that she's hurt you. But she's hurting too or she wouldn't have decided to walk away.

You can vent your pain and lash out at her. Or, you can do something else. You can bide your time and start right now making plans to get your girlfriend back.

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