When You Can't Talk about His Cheating – Write about it Instead

Many couples dealing with cheating and the aftermath of cheating find it hard to talk about. Cheating is considered by many to be a huge betrayal of love and trust. It's not an easy pill to swallow in any circumstances. You might not be able to talk about it without breaking down emotionally. This makes it very difficult to make any real progress in working things out. So, what can you do to get the important points apart so that you can save your marriage?

Put it on paper instead. Talking is important and in time you'll need to learn to talk to your husband again. For the time being you can put your words in writing so that your husband understands how hurt you are, how much this second chance is costing you both, and how committed you are to making it work.

There are other benefits to putting things in writing though. Even if you aren't having trouble saying what's on your mind these benefits might make a serious letter writing campaign worth considering even if verbalizing your emotions isn't your most pressing problem.

1) The ability to edit. When you're putting words on paper you can edit or change the words so that you don't accidentally say something you don't mean or that can never be unsaid. In the heat of verbal debate this isn't possible. Raw emotions sometimes lead us to lash out and say things we don't really mean. Putting your words on paper gives you the opportunity to go back and read it when you're not as emotionally raw or a little more detached before giving it to your husband.

2) Clarity. Sometimes the words make so much sense in your mind as you're saying them but when you see them on paper they aren't quite as clear. The fact that you know what you mean and understand your point doesn't mean that he will get it. If you read it after the fact and your point is anything less than obvious you might want to clean up the words so that he can't mistake their meaning when he reads all about it.

3) Buffer zone. There's something nice about having the buffer of pen and paper between you. It's much more difficult to escalate an argument when you're not standing in the same room and talking to one another while riding high on a wave of emotion. A letter writing campaign to help you two get through the troubling parts of your reconciliation gives you both a little emotional distance from the words and allows you both to read or hear the words in a different frame of mind.

Is this the ideal solution to get your ex back? Eventually you'll have to learn to talk to each other again. Until then you need to add this one teeny-tiny step to your letter writing campaign: http://www.magicofmakingup.com.