Why Can't I Forgive her for Cheating?

Published: 30th March 2010
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Men everywhere deal with feelings of betrayal after discovering that a wife has cheated. Finding out about a betrayal of this type is one of the worst things a marriage can go through. Surviving it takes a special kind of love. Not all relationships make it.

When you're having trouble forgiving your wife for her affair it isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's normal to have a hard time coming to terms with her infidelity let alone forgiving her for it. If you really want to save the relationship, you are going to have to figure out how to make it work and learn to forgive her.
There isn't a set and dry reason why you can't forgive your wife for cheating on you. There doesn't have to be. You have your own set of values and this may be one of the things that you just can't move past. However, if you'd honestly like to be able to forgive your wife so that you can move your marriage forward here is what you need to do.

Find out why she Cheated

Knowing why she cheated might give you a little perspective and see things from her point of view. It puts a human face to something you consider to be so wrong. More importantly, it allows you to see her vulnerabilities. When you see how much she hurt through all this you might be in a better frame of mind to extend a little bit of forgiveness.

Knowing the reason why also helps you discover her intent. Most of the time she wasn't cheating in order to hurt you or to risk your marriage. Most of the time in a situation like this she was trying to get something she needed that the other guy offered. In these cases it had nothing to do with you at all.

You might not realize how important knowing this is but when the time comes you'll understand that knowing the reason makes all the difference in the world when it comes to your ability to forgive.

Decide to Believe or Disbelieve her Sincerity

She's told you how sorry she is a dozen or so times. It is up to you whether or not you'll accept the apology and try to work things out. If you don't believe that she's sincere in offering the apology there's no point in moving forward. If you believe she's sincere it will help you forgive her beyond anything else that can happen. Let your heart be the ultimate guide. If you really love her the broken heart and wounded pride will only carry you so far. Eventually you'll be able to forgive and move on with the woman you love.

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