Why Does it Hurt so Much that Your Wife Cheated?

Published: 02nd September 2010
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If you've just found out your wife cheated you may be surprised at the depth of the pain that you're feeling. For some men it's the most intense pain they've experienced so far in life. Some men describe this particular pain as almost physical in its intensity and severity.

But why does the fact your wife cheated hurt so much? Should you be angry instead?

The good news is that what you're feeling is perfectly normal. The bad news is that it is probably only the beginning.

You see, there are actually 7 stages involved in the grieving process. Whether you care to admit it or not, you enter into a grieving process when you find out your wife has been cheating on you. You may experience any combination of the seven stages of grief and may or may not go through all of them. They aren't listed in any particular order nor do they occur in a particular order for all people.

1) Shock and Denial this is often the initial gut reaction men go through when finding out their wives have cheated on them. For some men it is brief, even fleeting. Other men take a little longer to get over the denial stage of the grieving process.

2) Rage this is the one that most men think they should feel. You probably will reach this stage at some point during the process. How long it lasts will depend entirely on you and what your goals for the future are. Remember that you are ultimately in charge of your emotions and don't allow them to lead you to do things you wouldn't not ordinarily do.

3) Pain this is what you're going through right now and may be the most difficult part of the process. The hurt you feel is simply a byproduct of the love you feel for your wife. Without that love, this pain wouldn't be possible.

4) Guilt this is when you start blaming yourself for what happened and look for the underlying cause of her cheating. It can be productive or self-destructive. Again, the choice is yours.

5) Making Bargains this can be fatal to any efforts you may be making to win the heart of your wife all over again. Don't make empty promises, beg, or bargain with your wife for a second chance at a time like this no matter how tempting the thought may seem.

6) Depression or Sadness watch for signs of danger in this stage. It is when you are the most vulnerable. It is natural to be sad. It's not natural to be unable to shake the sadness or move on. If you can't seem to move on from the depression stage, maybe it's time to seek qualified health care.

7) Acceptance the most difficult to come by but most rewarding. This is when you are ready to either move on without your wife or move on with her but you need to get to this point before you can move on. Period.

They may not look like much but going through the seven stages of grief is one of the most important things to do before you even think about finding ways to get your ex back.

If you need a little help in the getting her back department be sure to make it a priority to watch this free video: http://www.magicofmakingup.com.

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